Sunday, May 6, 2018

A horrible ending

I graduated this weekend with an MBA. I was congratulated by everyone I knew. I spent the weekend with the person I thought I would be with forever. The person I have spent the last tumultuous year and a half with. The person I have given everything to; my time, my money, my freedom, my vacation days; my heart. Even up until 9pm tonight he used my money to get gas and smokes for tomorrow. He left my house at 830pm with a kiss goodbye and an I'll talk to you later. At 920pm I received a text from him that he has decided he wants to be with another girl. He is in love with her. His text read "Hey, before you hear it from someone else, I have been talking to ronicka again. I don't kno any other way to tell you, but I really wanna be with her. I really want to be friends with you, but the beef between you guys will never let up. I know you expected alot in our future, but like I've told you in the past, my decision will always be ronicka becuz I love that girl alot and I don't want to lose her. I had to make a decision that took along time to determine, but after this weekend, I know what my heart wants and its only for her. Time and time again, the harassment between you two has only been becuz of my behavior and its got to end, so I am gonna focus on me and her, and try to make angel comfortable enough to live far away from her grandmother. I wish I could tell you in person, but I kno what lengths you'll go to to try and get me to stay, but I can't risk what could be, instead of what is. Tyler will be able to see angel when hes at his grandparents house."
I told him a week ago that I was done with all this and to make it easy and not talk to me ever again. He came back the next day begging me not to go. Then he caught her doing shady things and stalking me so he ended it with her. Now he's ending it with me... not before he spent all of my money, took all of my adderall and made sure he was comfortable for the week. I know he's a horrible person because no good person would do all of the things he has done to me. No good person would do all of this with children involved. Good people don't use people to their advantage, to help them survive when life is hard. I'm a good person. I help and I help and I help. I give and I give. I love so fiercely I get burned. I'd give my last dime to make someone else happy. I wonder if there are other people like me out there. Do they get shit on by everyone too? Do they wonder if there are others?
He was at my house all day today. He spent hours cleaning his car. He took all my empty bottles when he left. He kissed me goodbye and said "I'll talk to you later." Then he blocked me from his life like it was nothing. Like I was nothing.